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Working Out or Working it Out
There are times when my day goes perfectly. I get up, shower, take care of the dog, do some workouts, and get my workday started. This is a good day. They don’t happen often. Most days, I haven’t slept well, struggle through four alarms, thank the universe that I pre-set the coffee, sit at my desk, and try to pretend I’m ready. On these days, which happen more often, I am lucky if I brush my teeth in the morning. I feel better after I work out. Whether it is yoga, or something more intense, I feel good. More importantly, I feel sexy. I have always wished that I was…
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Mirror Image
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Mirror Image
A mirror image, the replica of what is reflected, or is it? Here are some definitions I found for the word mirror. Neither of these definitions defines how I feel about the mirror. Mir-ror / 1: a polished or smooth surface (as of glass)that forms images by reflection // She looked at herself in the mirror. Mir-ror/ 2: something that gives a true representation // the press as a mirror of public opinion I have always had a love/hate relationship with the mirror. Actually, that is not being honest. I straight up fucking hate the mirror. The funny thing is, I can’t seem to walk by one without taking a…
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Working Out or Working it Out
- January Jumpstart, Lifestyle, Lustitude, Open Relationships, Polyamorous, Relationship Thoughts Old and New, Trust
Lifestyle
Lifestyle is a term I both love and hate. While not liking labels on a person, I realize that lifestyle is a part of us. That part I like. The part I hate is that saying you have a lifestyle can pigeon hole you to the point that if you deviate from it – you are deviant. I don’t want to stay in any lifestyle or category at this point in my life. I have always hated labels. I find that in each community I enter, others need to place you in a category. When I started dating my ex-wife, I wasn’t gay enough. It was clear that her friends,…
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Time Alone
Time alone has always been in a love-hate relationship with me. I way “with me” because I feel like it is an unhealthy relationship sometimes. I feel it is a healthy relationship other times. Knowing the difference has been key in accepting alone time. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy watching TV or reading. I like the downtime when I do not feel like I have to do something. Then again, I always feel like I should be doing something other than sitting. I try to give myself a break and tell myself that I am busy, and if I take some time to settle, that is ok. This kind…
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Trust
Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back. I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous” communities. Both times were epic failures, and I ended up hurt, trust broken,…
