Well, this is kind of crazy. Writing a blog and creating a website about parts of me that I do not typically talk about with anyone. Maybe that is the point of this.
It has been a crazy four years for me and I’ve been struggling. Really struggling. I am facing the rest of my life alone with so much uncertainty. Maybe writing things here will give me clarity. I want clarity more than anything. I know most people won’t believe me but I do try to keep my life simple. It just never works out that way. I make decisions that rarely turn out as I expected them to, and that is ok most of the time. Sometimes, it really blows up in my face.
Maybe it will just be a quiet place for me to hide. A journal of all the things I think and fear and fear to think. Who knows. Most of what I will write will be about him and me and our relationship. I call it love. I don’t know what he calls it. It hasn’t mattered to me I just enjoy that he wants to be with me. I don’t want to put labels on us because that is usually when things start to go wrong.
We have to be very careful with any part of our relationship outside of friendship. While he is extremely private, I am more apt to tell you what is happening in my life. I will get his thoughts but mostly, this will be from my perspective.
I’ve got to start somewhere, right?