30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

Spanking as punishment?

As a submissive, would you consent to a painful spanking as punishment?

Yes, I would and do.  It is interesting to me and surprising as well.  When Daddy and I first started talking about moving forward with our D/s relationship we talked A Lot about what I thought it was and what I wanted.  I had always had an interest, but it was always taboo.  The one man I shared my thoughts with turned out to be a nightmare and used it against me in the most horrible way possible.  He made me feel guilty about my desire for pain and inflicted pain without consent to the point that I shut my desire out of my mind for a very long time.  I had only investigated and researched and just tried to wrap my brain around what it all meant.  After my ordeal with this man, I blocked those desires.  I stopped the research and stopped the inquiries and retreated to my vanilla existence.

When I started talking to Daddy he had a beautiful calm way of explaining things to me.  I felt like all the time online was beneficial, but Daddy expanded and truly made it make sense.  He usually refers to himself as deviant when talking about sex.  I get it.  It is outside the norm, but it bothers me that deviant has such a negative connotation when it brings us both such pleasure.

Our first shared experience was spanking.  I remember feeling slightly silly about it.  It was a punishment just a test to see how I responded.  (I didn’t know at the time it was a test or gauge of my tolerance).  When he was done I remember wanting more.  Feeling slightly proud that I handled what I had.  Prouder when I noticed how hard he had gotten from spanking me.  I also remember him making sure I was ok and checking on me during the spanking.  I was oddly happy.  Giddy almost.  It took me a while to process the emotions I felt from it.  I knew I liked it and I knew I wanted more.

As a punishment, this has always been a conflict in my brain.  We have determined I like impact play.  I like spankings, crops, paddles, canes, floggers and his hand.  If I have done something wrong or not done something I was supposed to do, why is spanking a punishment when I love them?  Daddy has never punished me by spanking me.  (I’ve never been punished.  The thought that I had failed or not pleased him is punishment enough, but I am sure when and if the time comes, Daddy will figure it out).  So that was a long answer to the question, but yes, I would consent to a spanking as punishment.

Does the idea of it turn you on or off?

Nope, the idea does not turn me off at all!  The exact opposite.  I’ve always been turned on by the thought of spankings and of course impact play.   Before I had experienced it, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me.  Parents spank their children.  My dad was quick with a spanking when we had taken a miss step.  (The generation before it was horrible to spank your kids, I turned out just fine).  So, did wanting a spanking to make me weird or some indication I had Daddy issues?  (My Dad and I had a great relationship and while he had his demons, he never turned them on any of us).  I had the same thoughts when deciding to call my Dom Sir instead of Daddy.   I called him Sir for years and just recently through a lot of reading and research, I asked if I could call him Daddy.  It seemed more personal.  Sir seemed too formal for the place we had reached in our relationship.  So, spanking was something that I questioned for a long time.  Then after talking to Daddy, and experiencing it, and of course, researching the crap out of it and reading blogs and books and articles, I realized it was ok.  I was ok.  There was nothing wrong with me wanting them and enjoying them.   Most recently, I even asked if I could have one.  That was a big step because I rarely ask for what I want.  (Still working on that).  I love the marks that are left behind because it reminds me he was there.  One of my favorite pictures is of my ass with his perfect handprint on it.


Thoughts provoked by Loving BDSM

Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s


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