dark room lite Christmas tree blonde white woman sitting in the floor in grey shirt playing a brown acoustic guitar
Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

Christmas thoughts

I haven’t liked Christmas for quite a while now.  It is a long story, some I have written about and some I haven’t.  Tonight, I spent the evening with my Mom, as she navigated through the first Christmas Eve without my Step-Dad.  Christmas for Mom has always been difficult.  She was very poor, growing up, in gin good years may have gotten an orange in a sock.  No decorations or glitter or nice wrapped presents.  She always worked very hard to make it special for us growing up.  This year, it is just sad.  There is nothing we can do to change that fact.  There are no decorations or presents that will make this feel better.

She is strong, positive, forward-thinking and looking, and concerned that everyone around her is dealing with the loss of this amazing man.  She is strong and amazing.  So much so that at times, I am ashamed that I don’t handle obstacles as well as she does.

I don’t know how I would have gotten through everything this year if I hadn’t started writing and blogging about my feelings.  Both good and bad, it has been helpful that I have had a place to express myself, either writing smutty goodness or purging my sadness on these pages.  Having those of you that read, comment, Twitter, retweet, reblog or in any way support me, directly or indirectly, has meant the world to me.

So, while I haven’t been “in the spirit” for a while and typically avoid the shout out about the holiday or New Year, I wanted to take a quick moment this evening to say thank you for your support.  These past seven months have been a wonderful journey into a new world, a new community, and a new me.  Thank you all!  However you celebrate, or even if you don’t celebrate at this time, I wish you the best in the New Year.


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