So yesterday, I did a thing… I bought my ticket for Eroticon 2019!!
Eroticon has been on my mind for months. I have been thinking, processing, analyzing, financially scrutinizing, and managing my anxiety over traveling alone abroad for months. Finally, just bit the bullet and bought the ticket. I could not be more excited and also more nervous than I have been about anything in a very long while.
I don’t do things like this! I am impulsive, but that usually means I buy shit I don’t need or say yes to things I should say no to. Buying a ticket to head to another country and meeting many people I don’t know is a whole different thing. This wasn’t impulsive, though. I have thought about it endlessly. It is a trip I would prefer to make with Daddy, but I am stepping up to do this thing for myself since that won’t be happening.
Doing things for myself is also something that I don’t often do. That is an added challenge. My brain could talk me out of this easily. I don’t deserve a trip, money is tight, traveling alone, never traveled internationally before, etc. I have a ton of reasons not to do this. My brain knows this. My gut, however, is screaming at me that I need to do this.
Spending time learning about Eroticon has been fun. Yes, educational, and I am learning new things, but also fun. People who openly talk about their lives, sexual preferences, desires, fears and do it in a way that makes others feel okay about themselves. It is interesting to realize you have finally found what you needed and realized you didn’t know this was what you needed.
So, obsessive planning begins now! 59 days to convince myself I am ready!