different colored rulers with measure visible lined in a row from top to bottom
Experiences,  Random thoughts and processing,  Self Love

Does Size Really Matter?

I know this is a pretty old joke with many variations.   High school was full of small penis jokes.  Being who I was and how I was back then, I didn’t get any of those jokes.  I smiled and laughed when I thought I could get away with it, but truthfully, this 17-year-old virgin wasn’t sure what the deal was.  I didn’t know if size really mattered.

Fast forward without a lot of backstories now I can honestly say that I get the jokes.  Also being who I am now, and probably who I was back then, I still don’t think the jokes are all that funny.  I think if you know what to do with what you got, you got it going on.

I am not going to say that I haven’t been disappointed at times.  I am not sure if that has a lot to do with size, girth or length, or if we just weren’t a good match in the bedroom.   Finding my kinks later in life has made it very easy for me to have a great time regardless of what the ruler says!  I also do not have to have an orgasm to have a good time and want a repeat performance.

Recently, I was seeing a guy who was full of confidence.  That is attractive to me and he had the kinky part down.  We had fun!  I can’t say I didn’t notice he had misled me about the size of his cock but it didn’t matter because he handled other things quite well.  At some point though I started feeling bad.  I was glad he was healthy because I was afraid he may collapse from exhaustion trying to make me orgasm by fucking me with his cock.  That isn’t a common way for me to have an orgasm and I told him that in conversations previous to our first time together in the bedroom.  He promised me he could make it happen and make me squirt.  Again, he had confidence.  Neither happened and I was afraid I was going to have to give him oxygen before he agreed to “let it go.”

Hey, if I have learned anything in my late years of finding what I really want, it is to tell people what I want and be honest about it.  I was careful to not hurt his feelings but the urge to say I told you so was pretty strong.  He won’t be back for several reasons, none of which are the size of his cock.  Maybe more the size of his ego!  In that area, I would say that size does matter.

Then fast forward a few months to another person I was talking to.  Sweet, fun guy.  We really clicked.  We share some kinks and are talking about and exploring those different things.  So he put a different spin on this topic for me and the reason for this post.

We were texting and we had covered the topic of my liking younger men, being “a little” kinky, etc.  He sends me a text that says, can I ask you a personal question?  I kind of chuckled considering the topic of some of our conversations but I responded of course.  There was a long pause even for texting and as the dots inside the bubble ran from left to right I waited.   “Are you intimidated by a man with a more than average large cock?”  I have to say that was the most polite way that the topic has ever come up.  I thought carefully about my answer considering he could be full of shit like so many others.  I responded with truth – the size doesn’t matter if you know what to do with it.  He didn’t respond for half an hour.   He then again, very politely asked me if he could send me a picture.  He said many women have not wanted a picture and were a little intimidated when they were face to cock with him.  I guess I get that.  I am not a fan of dick pics but I have to say he was so polite and unique about it that I said sure, only if he was comfortable in doing so and didn’t expect a picture in return.

He sent the picture.  If there was no photoshop at play and it truly was him, then he truly does have a more than average large cock.  Here’s the thing… I never know how to respond when someone shows me a picture of their cock.  If it is someone I know well and we are close enough I have plenty to say.  It is when you are getting to know someone and they send it.  I don’t want to offend and “that’s nice” seems condescending.  I don’t know what guys want you to say.  The few I am comfortable enough to ask don’t send dick pics so they don’t offer good research material.

My response was well thought out and I texted, I am not intimidated and I appreciate your being open about your concerns.  The conversation went on from there.  Later that evening as I was reflecting on the conversation I realized that I rarely consider body image issues from the male perspective.  He seemed genuinely concerned about my reaction.  Almost as if he was trying to save himself the experience of another woman walking out on him.

I spend a lot of time thinking about women and their body image issues.  The curves, facial hair, lips of her pussy looking different from a porn star, breast too small, too big, the list is endless.  I have male friends that mention a hanging stomach, or a “dad bod”, and thinning hair.  Men rarely (in my experience) mention their concerns or insecurities about their penis.  On line, dating has taught me that  8-12 inches seem to be the desired length or the length that seems to impress.  I don’t know that anyone ever whips out a ruler to measure and confirm the claims, but unless that’s their kink I doubt it.

So this guy gave me something to think about and maybe be a little more sensitive to.  A week later he was talking about me coming over to ride is big cock so I guess my response renewed some confidence in there somewhere.  That is ok.  Whether I do or not remains to be seen but I do appreciate his approach.  Without trying he has me thinking about the male body image issues and wondering if it is more difficult for men to express their concerns than it is for women.  I don’t normally categorize or even separate men and women or however people identify themselves.  I think we are all human and with that comes feelings about ourselves, some good some bad.

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