Kink of the Week,  Memes and Things

Public Play

Public play has always been elusive to me.  Part of this is because I am afraid of it.  I am interested in it and at times have wished I had more courage or more confidence to experience it freely the way it should be.  I know myself and know that I would be more worried about what people think than I would be focused on enjoying myself and just being in the moment.  That is how I use to be about sex, in general, all the time.  I am learning to get better and just let go and enjoy myself but it takes time.

When I started exploring my kinks it was with my first and only Dom.  There was a brief relationship with one other guy early on where he tied me up and I think that started my interested.  The real play didn’t start until I got together with Sir.  We mostly played with impact and D/s and he was very important in helping me realize my submissive self.  We talked about public play and the possibility of it.  After a brief discussion, we came to the agreement that it was private and we wouldn’t do it.  I may have slightly changed my mind at this point.

I am curious about public play.  I find myself reading about the different experiences others have had and it makes me wonder if I would be okay in that situation.  I have huge trust issues for both the emotional and physical aspects of my submissive self and my kinks.  Having been abandoned in the middle of my journey has me a little gun shy.  There is such trust needed in those situations and I am hesitant to trust anyone.  In a public place, it seems much more vulnerable to me.  That doesn’t negate the interest that I have in it.

I think I need to just cowgirl up and go to an event as a spectator and see what it is about.  I am sure it is different than my initial impression, especially after reading as much as I have about other experiences.  I think just the fact that we call it a “dungeon” is intimidating.  Any porn that has a display of BDSM is usually a really dirty gross place that looks like an abandoned warehouse!  Dirty mattresses and all!  (I know – its porn – enough said!). I know it is different than that and I think actually going to a place where public play is a thing my help me find my comfort level.

That comfort level has to come in my own time.  I wish I had something close that I could go to.  In my area, the place that I know of is in the city and that requires driving and parking and walking and metro, all things I tend to avoid like the plague!  So on top of being nervous about where I am going, I would also be nervous about how I get there.  That is for me to maneuver and get over.  I have one or two people I could ask to join me and we have talked about it but never followed through.  There are a lot of people that have agreed to join me but they want to play and I barely know them which makes me even more nervous.  I think I just have to plan and commit to going.

The one experience I had with sex in public was with the guy that tied me up.  We were at a park and I, completely sober agreed to have sex with him in the park.  I didn’t know it at the time but this park was apparently famous for folks having sex on the picnic tables, in small clearings, etc.  At the time, it seemed strange to me.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and agreed.  Once there and in the moment two people came over to watch.  They seemed creepy to me.  They also seemed like they wanted to join us and at the time that wasn’t for me.  We left and really didn’t talk about it after that.  Looking back now that was pretty public and we were playing!  Who I am now probably wouldn’t mind that so much.  I think about that situation a lot and differently, I would probably handle the same situation now.

Being a little risky in public and going to club for impact play and what other kinks people are into sharing there is a little different.  Playing with someone I trust and that I know will take care of me is exciting to me.  I hope that someday I have that kind of trust again so I can test the waters.  I have to admit I get a little jealous when I read the sexy stories of public play that people are willing to share.  Maybe I will get there someday.


Let’s read some other stories about Public Play – click the lips below!



  • Brigit Delaney

    I wish you lived closer cause I would love to go with you…just to watch and be there for each other. The whole thing makes me nervous, and I tend to be introverted and anxious about people and places I don’t know. Public play sounds fun. I’ve had sex at a swingers club with an audience, and it was such a turn on. But a “dungeon” sounds scarier somehow.

    • Toy

      Agreed! We should plan a road trip and make it happen! I have never considered myself introverted unless it is situations like that. Nervous anyway and lots of new people in a new place. I think we should rename it “erotic spa!” That would ease my mind a bit! Lol

  • Kayla Lords

    I definitely agree that going as a spectator would be a great first step in the process of figuring out if it’s something you would like to try, eventually. For me, the moment I realized that I was interested and curious about what I was watching but DIDN’T feel judgemental was the moment I realized that most other people would likely feel the same way. It also helped that I saw people of all body types in stages of undress, and I thought, if they can do that, I can do that. From there, the rest is history.

    If you EVER come to Florida for a visit, I’d be happy to take you to a dungeon party so you could spectate and not be alone when you did it. So, ya know, if you need a reason to visit sunnier climes, lol.

    • Toy

      Thanks! I am always looking for a reason for warmer weather visits and that would be great! I do think once I get there I would feel better and more comfortable. I also feel that I’m cautious to avoid a bad experience that would deter me from going back if that makes sense. I’m getting better at doing things and trying things alone but for this I would want a good first experience, if that makes sense

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