I spend a lot of time focusing on my face these days. I’ll be 55 this month and I have to admit I worry about the wrinkles. I have been told I look pretty good for 55 (or so I’ve been told) but between my own self-conscious body images and society telling me that at “my age” I have to target the wrinkles I fret over it a lot. It doesn’t help that all the wrinkle remedies are advertised by 20 something-year-olds but knowing that helps if only a little bit. I have always said it is just a number and I do believe that. I am also blessed with really good genes so that helps.
Focusing on the wrinkles on my front is in the forefront because, well, I look at it and see it every day. Even if I didn’t do the whole make up thing, you brush your teeth and wash your face and hence, you see all the things! However, the wrinkles in the back tend to creep up on you. Well, do they creep up or did I just not pay attention to them. I see all the selfies and posts of backsides in cute undies and I think to myself, “I’m going to do that”. Then I do that, and I see something similar to what is above and I delete the photo. Self-love and acceptance are hard.
I have always been bottom heavy and have always had the struggles of getting pants to fit right and all that comes with having a big butt. And, I am not a fan of the song about big butts because when you have one that isn’t toned and wrinkle-free it truly isn’t a compliment. Even calling it curvy for me seems somewhat like cheating. An example would be on a dating app, you say you are curvy. Then you meet and your undressing and all the wrinkles fall out. I don’t see it obviously (well unless there are mirrors involved) but I know its there and it does hang in my mind a bit.
Wrinkles of any kind, no matter if its laugh lines, cellulite, or marks from too-tight jeans just aren’t appealing to me. Too much time watching perfect people on TV undress without a mark I guess. I have always been an active person. Dancing as a child, karate as a young adult and in my later years, I enjoy kayaking and outdoor stuff. I had a farm with 23 animals that at times I had to chase. I have a sedentary job but my life has always been pretty active. Yet, these pesky little wrinkles on my ass just don’t want to smooth out. Acceptance of this is slow but posting this picture is a step toward that. I’ve posted pictures of my ass before but usually a more flattering shot where gravity was a bit more in my favor. I am getting there, slowly, I think.
Kiss the lips below to see other beautiful photos from February Photofest 2020!
My bottom and legs are all ‘wrinkly’ too, and to be honest, where I notice it every time I see it on an image, it never really bothered me.
I hope to get to that point and I will. It is just letting go of the mental image I think I should have. But I also recognize the good and for what I’ve been through I’m doing pretty damn good considering the last 20 years or so!