color photo dark back ground woman pictured from the back bare shoulder profile or face
February Photofest 2022

Thinking

Thinking is the best and the worst of my habits. There are times when I lose myself in all the things that bother me and worry me. I usually try hard to mask how I am feeling to others. They are my struggles, and I keep them behind the mask. This works for me. Two people see through this mask. My daughter and Sir. I find it impossible to hide much from them.

I think that everything that is happening, or not happening can be hard on the sole. All the tools available are great, meditation, writing everything down, focusing on one thing at a time, but they never seem to work for me. I am a thinker. I wish I were that person who exercised every time I was stressed. I would be a much healthier person.

For now, with everything I have been through, not just this past year, but life in general, I allow myself to think. When I am thinking, I am, at the very least, trying to work through the shit in my brain. I know that thinking alone doesn’t solve the issues. You have to find and put the results you get from thinking into action.

I feel like this photo, while sexy in its own right. What was I thinking about? I was thinking my nose may be too weird for a profile shot. Do my eyelashes (fake as fuck) look pretty good or like spider legs. I wished my hair was still blonde (thank you fucking covid for making it impossible for me to keep up with the roots, and I ended up covering it up). I was thinking that I might look good in this photo.

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