person in flannel shirt and grey socks with bare bottom visible laying on a red blanket and grey back rest in the back ground.
February Photofest 2022,  Sir/Daddy

Bottom up

My bottom side is not something that I typically show. I don’t see it as he does. I wish I could. There are parts of my body that I am happy with regardless of how they got the way they are, surgery or hard work, or genetics. My bottom will never be something that I can look at with objectivity.

I come from a family of big bottom folks! Both maternal and paternal families are famed for their hips and big butts. I did not escape the genetics on this one. I don’t wholly blame the family; I could work out more and eat less. Honestly, I do not know if having a tight, lifted bottom would make me feel better about it.

I have carried my ass my entire life, and there is only one picture when I was 15 years old that I can remember not hating. I have hidden it, crammed it into uncomfortably small pants, and pretended it wasn’t there. I have seen it in plateglass store windows and instantly felt self-conscious about it.

In the times of “curves are beautiful,” my bottom has been given a reprieve. Big butts are in (Thank you, Kardasians), but I still feel like my big butt can only be labeled flabby, not curvey.

Sir sees it differently, and his perspective is one I hope to adopt. He labels it beautiful. He doesn’t allow me to speak badly about my bottom and corrects me when I do. I will try to see my ass the way he does.



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