30 Days of D/s

From Loving BDSM, 30 days of questions or thought-provoking statements that make you truly think about your D/s.

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Writings

    Tasks and Rituals

    Can you think of tasks or rituals you already have or some you think you’d like to have that could be incorporated in a current or future D/s relationship? In my future D/s relationship I do want tasks and rituals.  I am that type of person.  I want to know what is expected and when it is expected.  I am a rule follower and I tend to thrive in those kinds of situations. In my past relationship, it was complicated by friendship.  I was never sure when I arrived to his house if I should kneel at his feet or sit next to him on the couch.  Make him drinks…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    D/s 24/7?

    Do you want to go to 24/7 at some point? I have always thought that I did.  Now I am not so sure. Why or why not? My one and only experience in D/s was long distance and under cover of sorts.  I enjoyed the idea of things, but I am not sure I would classify it as D/s.  I enjoy doing things for people.  I enjoy having tasks and things that I need to do.  It makes me feel productive when I have a list of things to do and I accomplish them.  This is me, and I am not sure if it is solely D/s. Having said that,…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Writings

    When a D/s relationship ends…

    This was today’s thought-provoking email.  I don’t know how to respond to this one.  On Monday, my Sir told me we were through.  I made a mistake.  A big one.  He responded with the heat and temper I had witnessed but it was never directed at me.  Through text, he told me I was manipulative and I had hurt him too much, he was done.  He even said “fuck you, T…” using my real name and not the name he gave me.  He is furious, done with me and has not spoken to me since.  He told me to move on. Devastated doesn’t cover it.  I am mourning not only…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    D/s Drop

    Have you ever felt a drop after kinky play? I have. We didn’t have huge long scenes often.  Our timing was difficult.  I remember the scene and I remember being so focused on my body.  More so than ever before.  I wasn’t worried about the way my body looked, the fat moving around, none of the normal things.  I was so focused on what was being done and how my body was responding.  When it was over, I fell apart emotionally.  It was a couple of days before I was back to normal.  It was a strange feeling of pride, sadness, longing, missing him, needing him, not knowing what to…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Writings

    Sub Frenzy

    You might have never heard of sub frenzy and still experienced it whether as the submissive or a Dominant. It’s a moment that happens for new submissives or submissives in new relationships where they get a little intense about their submission, sometimes to the detriment of their own safety. It can be overwhelming in healthy relationships and dangerous in bad relationships. It’s good to know what it is and how to recognize it, even if you’re past the point of thinking you’ll be affected by it. My first and only experience as a sub was exhilarating.  I loved the prospect of it.  I researched and looked at different things and…