January Jumpstart
- January Jumpstart, Lifestyle, Lustitude, Open Relationships, Polyamorous, Relationship Thoughts Old and New, Trust
Lifestyle
Lifestyle is a term I both love and hate. While not liking labels on a person, I realize that lifestyle is a part of us. That part I like. The part I hate is that saying you have a lifestyle can pigeon hole you to the point that if you deviate from it – you are deviant. I don’t want to stay in any lifestyle or category at this point in my life. I have always hated labels. I find that in each community I enter, others need to place you in a category. When I started dating my ex-wife, I wasn’t gay enough. It was clear that her friends,…
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Time Alone
Time alone has always been in a love-hate relationship with me. I way “with me” because I feel like it is an unhealthy relationship sometimes. I feel it is a healthy relationship other times. Knowing the difference has been key in accepting alone time. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy watching TV or reading. I like the downtime when I do not feel like I have to do something. Then again, I always feel like I should be doing something other than sitting. I try to give myself a break and tell myself that I am busy, and if I take some time to settle, that is ok. This kind…
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Trust
Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back. I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous” communities. Both times were epic failures, and I ended up hurt, trust broken,…
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Walk on the Beach
A walk on the beach is soul cleansing for me. All my senses are engaged, and for some reason, at the first step on the sand, my brain can breathe. I have always loved the beach but didn’t realize its true power until later in life. That is a theme in my life; later in life is where most of my lessons and “clicked.” The ability to look back at the chapters of my life and see the lessons can only happen later when you have the maturity to recognize them. I was never one to walk on the beach in my younger days. I was oiled up and lying…
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We Have to Hurt to Know
c/w Depression / Addiction We have to hurt to know; an unfortunate truth. This is a lesson older than time. I was raised to learn from my mistakes. I was usually told of the consequences, and then the choice was mine to make my decisions. As children, we are warned not to touch a hot stove. As adults, we have to know that we shouldn’t do certain things. You know you shouldn’t do it. Even as children, sometimes we know. We can not help ourselves, though, can we? We touch the stove, and of course, Mom was right. It hurts. The decision was ours. Now that we know the consequence…
