Random thoughts and processing
- Aging, Decisions, Distress, February Photofest 2022, Medical Related, Memes and Things, Random thoughts and processing, Self Love
I Needed Surgery
My scars are sexy and remind me to love the body I have. Chrisy Kay I am using February Photofest 2022 as a way to restart my writing. The following outlines a year of health issues and emotional struggle that halted my writing and any sexuality I had. This photo is not exactly the “sexy shot” that one would expect but hang in there with me on this. I needed to start somewhere and I felt this was the best place to begin. I need surgery! When they tell you that you need surgery, it takes a minute to set in. I knew I needed surgery in the back of…
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Expect the Unexpected
c/w – depression, illness, cancer I have learned through the years to expect the unexpected. I have many types of cancer running through my maternal and paternal family. It was always something I heard about and knew about, and I didn’t know the details as much as I knew that someone else had been diagnosed and died due to cancer. I had a cancer scare when I was about 42 and had some scary biopsies, but it ultimately turned out to be benign. I considered that a bullet missed and went on with life. I wasn’t overly appreciative of the good news; I just felt something else I had gone…
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Trust
Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back. I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous” communities. Both times were epic failures, and I ended up hurt, trust broken,…
- Aging, Decisions, Distress, Experiences, Random thoughts and processing, Relationship Thoughts Old and New, Self Love, Trust
Love is Saying the Hard Things
Love is saying the hard things. Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that need to be said. Recently while sharing some whiskey with a friend, he made a comment so significant that it stopped me dead in my tracks. “The problem is T, love is saying the hard things, and you aren’t good at saying the hard things.” Well, fuck me! The main problem with this was I instantly knew he was right, and that stung a little bit. In my defense, I don’t like hurting people’s feelings. I also do not like confrontation. Put those two together and its a losing combination. Who looses? Everyone! I…
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Blue Sky
The color blue to some is a sad and gloomy state of being. “Feeling blue” has been meant to feel sad and low. For me, there is something uplifting and hopeful about the color of a blue sky. I can make me feel happy. I look up and see the brilliant blue color and there is something about it that gives me hope. Particularly after a few days of grey and rainy days, the blue sky can energize me. Beaches and blue sky always center me. I usually give the beach and the ocean the credit for making me feel better and making me feel centered. I don’t think I…
