• Trust black square with the word in yellow trust doesn't come with a refill. Once its gone, you probably won't get it back and if you do it will never be the same & that's a fact
    January Jumpstart,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Random thoughts and processing

    Trust

    Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back. I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous” communities. Both times were epic failures, and I ended up hurt, trust broken,…

  • saying hard things pink square like a package hole in the middle white face with pink lipstick
    Aging,  Decisions,  Distress,  Experiences,  Random thoughts and processing,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New,  Self Love,  Trust

    Love is Saying the Hard Things

    Love is saying the hard things.  Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that need to be said.  Recently while sharing some whiskey with a friend, he made a comment so significant that it stopped me dead in my tracks. “The problem is T, love is saying the hard things, and you aren’t good at saying the hard things.” Well, fuck me!  The main problem with this was I instantly knew he was right, and that stung a little bit.  In my defense, I don’t like hurting people’s feelings.  I also do not like confrontation.  Put those two together and its a losing combination.  Who looses?  Everyone! I…

  • light and dark blue sky line of ocean waves white sandy Florida beach
    Learning the Hard Way,  Random thoughts and processing,  Thoughts

    Blue Sky

    The color blue to some is a sad and gloomy state of being.  “Feeling blue” has been meant to feel sad and low.  For me, there is something uplifting and hopeful about the color of a blue sky.  I can make me feel happy.  I look up and see the brilliant blue color and there is something about it that gives me hope.  Particularly after a few days of grey and rainy days, the blue sky can energize me. Beaches and blue sky always center me.  I usually give the beach and the ocean the credit for making me feel better and making me feel centered.  I don’t think I…

  • Learning the Hard Way,  Mom Moments,  Random thoughts and processing,  Self Love,  Vanilla,  Writer Block

    Blank Page

    Staring at a blank page has become my norm of late.  It is hard for me to put into words everything I’ve been feeling and not much of it has been sexy, kinky or light-hearted.  There is so much fear in the air that staring at a blank page seems the safest thing for me to do right now. I’d love to say I have notes and a list of wonderful things to write on this blank page but I haven’t even felt compelled to do that.  Life has just been a bitch.  I saw a sign the other day that said something to the effect of “2020 didn’t even…

  • different colored rulers with measure visible lined in a row from top to bottom
    Experiences,  Random thoughts and processing,  Self Love

    Does Size Really Matter?

    I know this is a pretty old joke with many variations.   High school was full of small penis jokes.  Being who I was and how I was back then, I didn’t get any of those jokes.  I smiled and laughed when I thought I could get away with it, but truthfully, this 17-year-old virgin wasn’t sure what the deal was.  I didn’t know if size really mattered. Fast forward without a lot of backstories now I can honestly say that I get the jokes.  Also being who I am now, and probably who I was back then, I still don’t think the jokes are all that funny.  I think…