Toy for Sir
Toy for Sir was born from an amazing place. A relationship that helped me develop into the person I knew I was but didn't know how to get there. These posts are the beginning of the journey. Like most journeys, there is a beginning, middle, and end. I have struggled to move past the painful end of my beginning. The time is now. My new site, chrisykay.com will be different because I am different. Toy will always be a part of me, but I am much more than that now. I will never be Toy again. No one will ever call me that name or whisper it in my ear. While that is hard to realize, it is necessary to accept. This is where I began, follow me to see where I go.
Post from site toyforsir.com.
- BDSM, Decisions, Experiences, kinks, Learning the Hard Way, Polyamorous, Protect Your Heart, Self Love, Sir/Daddy, Toy for Sir
Good People
I like good people and want to be around good people. When the past comes knocking on my door, I have never been one to leave it there standing on the porch. I have a lot of shit in my past, but I also feel that I learn from my experiences. I have learned not to live in the past and over the past three years, I have learned to place it in a safe place in my brain. Until now. My breakup with my Dom (first and only) has been a huge part of this blog. Our relationship prior to the breakup has been too. I write my feelings…
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She Wanted to Know
She wanted to know about him so badly. There was no one to ask, no one to reach out to, no one to trust. She sat alone in her house. The house she decorated for him. Some of his things still in place even if she is the only one that knows they are there. The carpets she bought so his dog wouldn’t be scared by her hardwood floors. She wanted to know how he was. She wanted to know how he was dealing with the world, his world, without her. Time has passed. A lot of time. There were days when she was ok. There were days when she…
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Out of Character
I don’t know what my character is anymore. Along with that, I don’t have confidence in my ability to judge other people’s characters either. Perhaps this is coming off of a good seven years of being wrong in my judgment and multiple people being out of character and my being too blind to see their truth. I use to lean on the fact that I didn’t judge anyone and just let them show me who they were. Lately (or just lately I have realized) that many people show me sooner than I recognize. Perhaps giving too many chances is the only thing I am guilty of. I actually hope that…
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Dagger
I swore I wasn’t going to write about you anymore. I closed the door and locked it securely – or so I thought. But today, today hit me in the heart like a dagger. A feeling I thought I would never experience again. Sadly, I was wrong once again. Apparently, I will never be able to forget the experience of this dagger. The unseen sharpness that slices through my skin with invisibility, piercing my heart with expert precise movement, never failing to hit its mark. This dagger is elusive, sneaky, stealthy. The moment I think I have buried it, lost it, destroyed it, it returns to me out of nowhere.…
- BDSM, EroticonUK 2019, kinks, Learning the Hard Way, Lifestyle, London, Random thoughts and processing, Relationship Thoughts Old and New, Sir/Daddy, Toy for Sir
A letter of thanks from the light you brought out in me.
Connecting emotions one breath at a time. I have always been big on letters. Perhaps it is the writer in me, I always find it easier to express myself in writing letters, poems, songs, and now I guess even blogs and books. I have many things to say to my Ex, but as I think about them and write them, I wonder what is most important to express at this point. He won’t see any of them, and even if it does make me feel better, is that why I write them? Or am I holding on to something that I never really had? Maybe I’ll never know. After…
