Vanilla

This category is anything that isn't sex-related or BDSM. Generic posts about life in general. At times there may be some kinky or sexual comments or connections, but basically, it is the generic day to day life stuff.

  • unapologetically me, ocean scene at sunset dusk with small moon in the sky
    Aging,  Decisions,  Distress,  Experiences,  Friendship,  Learning the Hard Way,  Lifestyle,  Memes and Things,  Mom Moments,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Protect Your Heart,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New,  Self Love,  Thoughts,  Trust,  Vanilla,  Writings

    Unapologetically Me

    I am unapologetically me. It has taken me a very long time to get to this point. I am 57 years old. Unfortunately I think this realization has only come to fruition over the last three years. I have made mistakes. Big ones and little ones. I have learned from every single one of those mistakes. Some of these mistakes I made more than once. That I apologize for, but I apologize to myself. I am not evil, and I do not go out and see who I can hurt or ruin. I live my life as the best person that I can be. I try to be honest, and…

  • Learning the Hard Way,  Mom Moments,  Random thoughts and processing,  Self Love,  Vanilla,  Writer Block

    Blank Page

    Staring at a blank page has become my norm of late.  It is hard for me to put into words everything I’ve been feeling and not much of it has been sexy, kinky or light-hearted.  There is so much fear in the air that staring at a blank page seems the safest thing for me to do right now. I’d love to say I have notes and a list of wonderful things to write on this blank page but I haven’t even felt compelled to do that.  Life has just been a bitch.  I saw a sign the other day that said something to the effect of “2020 didn’t even…

  • Mom Moments,  Random thoughts and processing,  Vanilla

    Guilt

    Of all the things I struggle to let go of, my guilt for my bad decisions in my life is one of them.  The people my decisions hurt or confused, the consequences my decisions brought to me and others, all boils down to me dealing with my guilt. Last night I had a tough conversation with the girls.  The details I don’t think matter.  It was a conversation brought about by my frustrations over their responses (or lack of responses) to specific requests.  I was tired of having the same conversation over and over, again and again.  It came to a head yesterday and I called a family meeting. I…

  • Experiences,  Vanilla

    Doctors feeling awkward.

    So this is more of a venting blog than anything else.   So be warned, I’m grippy!  Doctors shouldn’t feel awkward.   I’ve been sick this past week.  I have managed to live to 53 without experiencing a UTI.  I have had irritational bladder issues after surgeries and childbirth.  That burning feeling from having a catheter removed.  Those kinds of things.  Never was I diagnosed with a UTI.   That streak ended this last Monday when I woke up to go through my usual morning routine.  Most folks head straight to the toilet.  I did just that.  What happened next felt like the equivalent of eliminating acid.  It was pretty clear there…

  • Thoughts,  Vanilla

    Beach lessons – Thoughts

    The ocean never disappoints. As soon as I think it is redundant a new form or new shaped wave appears and surprises and impressed me. Redundancy and insanity doing the same thing over again don’t apply here.  My beach lessons are always deep and thoughtful. My thoughts pour out like the rain and swirl like the wind and in front of the powerful waves and guarding moon I find it is easier to sort them. Once again I am reminded that my connection to this wonder of nature is strong and should not be ignored. I owe it and myself the commitment to spend time together. The sun, moon, and…