• Trust black square with the word in yellow trust doesn't come with a refill. Once its gone, you probably won't get it back and if you do it will never be the same & that's a fact
    January Jumpstart,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Random thoughts and processing

    Trust

    Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back. I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous” communities. Both times were epic failures, and I ended up hurt, trust broken,…

  • walk on the beach sand water waking dock in the distance, with words typed nothing soothes the soul like a walk on the beach
    January Jumpstart,  Learning the Hard Way,  Self Love

    Walk on the Beach

    A walk on the beach is soul cleansing for me. All my senses are engaged, and for some reason, at the first step on the sand, my brain can breathe. I have always loved the beach but didn’t realize its true power until later in life. That is a theme in my life; later in life is where most of my lessons and “clicked.” The ability to look back at the chapters of my life and see the lessons can only happen later when you have the maturity to recognize them. I was never one to walk on the beach in my younger days. I was oiled up and lying…

  • hurt to know close up of horses face with rope bridal and verse with words in white letter.
    January Jumpstart

    We Have to Hurt to Know

    c/w Depression / Addiction We have to hurt to know; an unfortunate truth. This is a lesson older than time. I was raised to learn from my mistakes. I was usually told of the consequences, and then the choice was mine to make my decisions. As children, we are warned not to touch a hot stove. As adults, we have to know that we shouldn’t do certain things. You know you shouldn’t do it. Even as children, sometimes we know. We can not help ourselves, though, can we? We touch the stove, and of course, Mom was right. It hurts. The decision was ours. Now that we know the consequence…

  • Optimistic optimism cartoon turtle upside down on his back with words I'm flying green grass blue sky white clouds caption balloon
    January Jumpstart,  Memes and Things

    Optimistic

    An optimistic approach to sex came tome later in life than I would like to admit. I can call it generational, cultural, or anything else I could blame, but it is my past, and I can’t change that. However, I move forward with a more optimistic view that I have a blank canvas to create my own sexual story. It wasn’t until my first divorce that I realized the reason I didn’t like sex could be because I hadn’t had good sex. It is of no fault of my partners (few that they were), more that I hadn’t allowed myself to enjoy it. I always worried if I was doing…

  • stay the night bed red and black covers folded down for two light from window coming in
    Decisions,  Experiences,  January Jumpstart,  Lifestyle,  Memes and Things,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New

    Stay the Night

    It had been a while since I shared my bed with someone. Even my Ex-what-ever-he-was never stayed the night with me. I always went to him. Although I had set my house up to his liking just in case, it ever happened. So when my current relationship said he could stay over, I was not only surprised and a little excited, I was also nervous. I haven’t talked much about him because I wasn’t sure where it was going. He is a good guy. Most of them are, but most of them also have issues, baggage, or in my case and history, someone else in their lives. Ugh! It is…