• Experiences,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    When?

    As the holidays approach it brings back all the feelings of loss.   The loss of my Dad in March and the loss of my relationship in August.  When would I ever feel ok again? Two very different relationships but the pain is shared and intertwined as this hateful year heads toward a close. Every day I miss my Dad and as the holidays come near I struggle for ways to support my Mom through this year of firsts after losing him.  There is no way to distract her from the loneliness and pain.  It just isn’t possible.  Made worse by my own sadness and feeling the loss of him. On…

  • forcing sexy white woman with black bra and thick chain around her neck with circle link and chains wrapping her breast
    Learning the Hard Way

    Forcing Sexy

    Forcing Sexy is exhausting!  I have always admired those people (men and women of any orientation) that can feel sexy on demand.  I use to think it was easy for some, most actually, but time has taught me that this isn’t so.  Sometimes as a submissive, others say the struggle when their Dom is requesting something sexy.  I never felt that force sexy feeling.  Because I came into my sexuality late in life, I was making up for the lost time. In all fairness to myself, it has been a hellish month.  This weekend marks a month since my Sir decided he no longer wanted me as a sub, or…