• Thoughts,  Vanilla

    Beach lessons – Thoughts

    The ocean never disappoints. As soon as I think it is redundant a new form or new shaped wave appears and surprises and impressed me. Redundancy and insanity doing the same thing over again don’t apply here.  My beach lessons are always deep and thoughtful. My thoughts pour out like the rain and swirl like the wind and in front of the powerful waves and guarding moon I find it is easier to sort them. Once again I am reminded that my connection to this wonder of nature is strong and should not be ignored. I owe it and myself the commitment to spend time together. The sun, moon, and…

  • The beach where peace is found
    Thoughts,  Vanilla

    Beach lessons – Sunday morning thoughts

    I didn’t bring the laptop this weekend and hate publishing from my phone but some thoughts can’t wait.  It is Sunday morning.  It is time for beach lessons. I wanted a tech-free weekend with no responsibilities. The beach has always been my healing reflective place. My therapy. Younger me always thought I had to be on the beach tanning to get that. My older self has learned that things have changed. I have had a rough four years and many parts of those struggles continue. Some will always be in the front of the line and some will move from back to front from time to time. I will feel…

  • potential small plant growing up out of sand
    BDSM,  Experiences,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir

    I’m in love with your potential

    Sometimes it is a statement that you hear randomly throughout the day. Sometimes, it is an original thought. Today, it was a song lyric. Driving to a wedding that I was pleased about but still sad and maybe even a little bitter at my own situation, I had the radio low. Through the traffic noise, the chatter of others in the car, and my own thoughts come one lyric from a radio song.  The song title, I am in love with your potential.  The lyrics stopped me in my tracks. Time stops, and I am suddenly aware of only the song on the radio. I zero in on the screen…

  • new look female staring at water fall with sunlight shining on the stream of water dark fall season colors
    BDSM,  Experiences,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    Blog is Changing

    A new look for a new chapter.  Much like I constantly redecorate the rooms in my house and clean like crazy when I have a lot of stuff going on and running through my mind, I decided to clean up the blog… which resulted in changing everything. I’ve thought a lot about the name on this blog.  I created it with Sir in mind.  To write about him and me in a safe space because I had no one else to talk to.  He knew about it but I don’t know if he ever checked in to see what was happening.   He never mentioned it if he did which has…

  • Experiences,  Thoughts,  Writings

    What makes you happy?

    All my life people talk about what makes you happy.  The question comes often.  When going through a hard time, or just going through life day-to-day, status quo, but feeling like something was missing, people would ask, “What makes you happy?  Do what makes you happy?”  That’s great if you know what that is. Happiness is elusive.  It is fluid.  What makes you happy one day may not be what makes you happy the next day, week or year.  Dreams change, goals change, priorities change.  That is the difficult part.  I have found through my years that I tend to get what I think makes me happy and that is…