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Blue Sky
The color blue to some is a sad and gloomy state of being. “Feeling blue” has been meant to feel sad and low. For me, there is something uplifting and hopeful about the color of a blue sky. I can make me feel happy. I look up and see the brilliant blue color and there is something about it that gives me hope. Particularly after a few days of grey and rainy days, the blue sky can energize me. Beaches and blue sky always center me. I usually give the beach and the ocean the credit for making me feel better and making me feel centered. I don’t think I…
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Beach lessons – Thoughts
The ocean never disappoints. As soon as I think it is redundant a new form or new shaped wave appears and surprises and impressed me. Redundancy and insanity doing the same thing over again don’t apply here. My beach lessons are always deep and thoughtful. My thoughts pour out like the rain and swirl like the wind and in front of the powerful waves and guarding moon I find it is easier to sort them. Once again I am reminded that my connection to this wonder of nature is strong and should not be ignored. I owe it and myself the commitment to spend time together. The sun, moon, and…
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While patience is needed
It is hard keeping my mind busy and occupied. I was asked to be patient and left with a long hug and gentle touches. So patient I will be. Why is it the hardest things to do are the things you must do. I want my mind to keep busy. I want my body to keep busy. I really want to crawl into bed and wait for the patience to have paid off. But not everything we want we get. During these times I try and think of what would be the best thing or things to do. What will be appreciated, what will please him, what will benefit us…
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Negotiation
This is interesting for me to think about. I rarely negotiate. I usually go along with the flow and try not to make waves. This comes from my need to make people happy and my fear and disdain of confrontation. When things come up where decisions are to be made I am usually comfortable with voicing my opinion, but rarely force an issue. My Mom is the same way and she is where I get it. She says, (and backs it up with her actions) she picks her battles. If it seriously means something to her she will push the issue or attempt a negotiation, but she picks these times…
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I fear I have ruined you…
What do you say when someone says that to you. I stare into his gorgeous face wrecked with seriousness and sadness. I’m scared to speak as the tears sting my eyes and my chest tightens. Ruined me? How could he think that? Because I’m sad about our situation and struggling with the distance? He looks between me and the computer screen as flashes of light and dark scenes fill the brightly lit room like explosions that match my emotions and the queasiness on my stomach. I feel the physical pain of his words. My mouth waters a warning I may vomit. My body screams and my heart breaks. Ruined me?…