• finger trace male hands female backside black and white
    BDSM,  kinks

    Tracing a Finger

    For all the thrills we get from our kinks, impact play, bondage, suspension, there is also the lighter side we don’t often hear as much about.  Or perhaps it is that I don’t talk about it as much, read about it as much or focus on it as much as I do the other kinks I enjoy.  The tracing of a finger, the long stare, eyes connected and no need to look away.  These are things that have been brought to my attention lately. It has been a year since my D/s relationship ended.  Much of my focus has been on the loss kinks that I enjoyed during the time…

  • white male in shower visibly naked from the hip bones to the knees. shower water on shower inclosure with grey marbled background
    Masturbation Monday

    Watching Him Shower

    I love watching him shower.  There is something so personal about watching someone bathe.  I sat on the floor and watched as he went through his normal ritual and routines.   He is so at ease with me watching and I remember thinking that I would feel self-conscious if someone was watching me as intently as I was watching him.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.  Avoiding looking at his cock, partly out of my normal shyness but also realizing that his whole body was hypnotic as he moved from shampoo to soap to conditioner. We were talking like we were at the kitchen table and it seemed…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    Negative Emotions

    How do you handle negative emotions like anger, jealousy, and fear now? My past four years have been nothing but negative emotions honestly.  My daughter’s addiction to heroin was revealed in December of 2014.  2015, getting her clean.  2016, keeping her clean and healthy.  2017, still working on getting my daughter on track, the end of my 15 year relationship and the loss of my beautiful farm and horses, etc.  2018, the death of my second father and supporting my mother and the possible end of my D/s relationship as my Dom struggles to figure out his situation.  Nothing but negative. By all accounts, I should be in the fetal…

  • BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Writings

    Intimacy in a D/s relationship

    Spending some time listening (and watching!) @LovingBDSM yesterday at work.  (Headphones are a beautiful thing).  These two wonderful people never disappoint!  They always seem to hit on my feelings and manage to make me feel less crazy.  Or, make me feel my crazy is ok. My situation is unique.  Maybe.  It can be tough at times.  I struggle daily to know and find my place.  The D in my D/s is my best friend.  We started as co-workers than friends, then best friends then came the benefits, and then came the BDSM and his role as my Dom.  I started calling him Sir, and now he is my Daddy.  It…