• saying hard things pink square like a package hole in the middle white face with pink lipstick
    Aging,  Decisions,  distress,  Experiences,  Random thoughts and processing,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New,  Self Love,  Trust

    Love is Saying the Hard Things

    Love is saying the hard things.  Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that need to be said.  Recently while sharing some whiskey with a friend, he made a comment so significant that it stopped me dead in my tracks. “The problem is T, love is saying the hard things, and you aren’t good at saying the hard things.” Well, fuck me!  The main problem with this was I instantly knew he was right, and that stung a little bit.  In my defense, I don’t like hurting people’s feelings.  I also do not like confrontation.  Put those two together and its a losing combination.  Who looses?  Everyone! I…

  • finger trace male hands female backside black and white
    BDSM,  kinks

    Tracing a Finger

    For all the thrills we get from our kinks, impact play, bondage, suspension, there is also the lighter side we don’t often hear as much about.  Or perhaps it is that I don’t talk about it as much, read about it as much or focus on it as much as I do the other kinks I enjoy.  The tracing of a finger, the long stare, eyes connected and no need to look away.  These are things that have been brought to my attention lately. It has been a year since my D/s relationship ended.  Much of my focus has been on the loss kinks that I enjoyed during the time…

  • white woman blonde hair bare breast with red robe off the shoulders
    February Photofest 2019!,  Memes and Things

    Photos! – Day 28!

    The last day of February Photofest 2019.  This was an amazing experience for me.  I have to admit I was terrified and had no idea if I would survive, or even finish it.  I wouldn’t have seen this through the 28 days without the support of this amazing community!  More than the experience of this special growth I have realized (most unexpected) was reading others’ words, and experiencing others’ thoughts and feelings and the beauty in the photos that everyone shared.  The journey is still a long way to go, but this has started growth and a change of perspective, on my inner self and my body image.  Here’s to…

  • BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir

    Out of Dom Space

    Coming from me this may sound weird.  It feels a little weird too.  I have never been dominant in anything.  That isn’t to say that someday I won’t be, but for now, it just isn’t me.  So the Dom side of things has been something that I have been researching and reading about to get a better understanding of the other side.  I think it will make me a better submissive.  I am aware of sub space.  I never dawned on me that there was a Dom space as well. During a difficult time with my Dom, we were walking and he was talking about his struggles with his primary. …

  • BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    Influence from other blogs, podcasts, books, etc.

    When I started this blog I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be.  I knew I wanted to start getting my writing out there, somewhere but wasn’t sure what to do with it.   It was a previous Dom that suggested I write smutty things.  He knew I loved to write about all different things.  He was basing his suggestions on my text and letters to him and how I worded things to him and for him.  I giggled at the thought.  Mainly because those words were his.  They were for him.  They came from a place that I kept just from him.  He brought out those thoughts and ideas…