• BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir

    Out of Dom Space

    Coming from me this may sound weird.  It feels a little weird too.  I have never been dominant in anything.  That isn’t to say that someday I won’t be, but for now, it just isn’t me.  So the Dom side of things has been something that I have been researching and reading about to get a better understanding of the other side.  I think it will make me a better submissive.  I am aware of sub space.  I never dawned on me that there was a Dom space as well. During a difficult time with my Dom, we were walking and he was talking about his struggles with his primary. …

  • BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    Influence from other blogs, podcasts, books, etc.

    When I started this blog I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be.  I knew I wanted to start getting my writing out there, somewhere but wasn’t sure what to do with it.   It was a previous Dom that suggested I write smutty things.  He knew I loved to write about all different things.  He was basing his suggestions on my text and letters to him and how I worded things to him and for him.  I giggled at the thought.  Mainly because those words were his.  They were for him.  They came from a place that I kept just from him.  He brought out those thoughts and ideas…

  • BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir

    Single and Submissive

    As soon as I think I have an original thought or question, my BDSM community comes to show me I am not alone.  Others are struggling and dealing with some of the same issues.  I am not blazing any trails.  I am grateful for that!  Loving BDSM podcast with Kayla Lords and John Brownstone never cease to help me make sense of my stuff, hitting the nail on the head with good conversation and strong information.  Also thanks to @ThePrincessRara for asking for a discussion on the subject.  How does it feel to be single and submissive? Recovery after a breakup is a touchy and very individual thing.  Do you go into…

  • potential small plant growing up out of sand
    BDSM,  Experiences,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir

    I’m in love with your potential

    Sometimes it is a statement that you hear randomly throughout the day. Sometimes, it is an original thought. Today, it was a song lyric. Driving to a wedding that I was pleased about but still sad and maybe even a little bitter at my own situation, I had the radio low. Through the traffic noise, the chatter of others in the car, and my own thoughts come one lyric from a radio song.  The song title, I am in love with your potential.  The lyrics stopped me in my tracks. Time stops, and I am suddenly aware of only the song on the radio. I zero in on the screen…

  • humiliation white woman sitting with legs crossed on a bed with white sheets and black head board with blond hair and arms tucked under her chest
    BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way


    This concept has always confused me.  I could never understand why anyone, male or female, would consent to be humiliated.  This is not a judgment.  It is a personal feeling.  All my life, I have been made fun of.  I was too fat, too short, the ugly friend.  I was in sixth grade with braces and glasses.  Life wasn’t easy.  Kids made poems about me to incorporate all the things that were not cool about me.  I worked hard to make sure that I always looked as best as could.  When I got older and dating began, I was always dressed as best as I could be.  My clothes were…