• swinging people dancing on dance floor with
    January Jumpstart,  Lifestyle,  Lustitude,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New,  Trust

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle is a term I both love and hate. While not liking labels on a person, I realize that lifestyle is a part of us. That part I like. The part I hate is that saying you have a lifestyle can pigeon hole you to the point that if you deviate from it – you are deviant. I don’t want to stay in any lifestyle or category at this point in my life. I have always hated labels. I find that in each community I enter, others need to place you in a category. When I started dating my ex-wife, I wasn’t gay enough. It was clear that her friends,…

  • Optimistic optimism cartoon turtle upside down on his back with words I'm flying green grass blue sky white clouds caption balloon
    January Jumpstart,  Memes and Things

    Optimistic

    An optimistic approach to sex came tome later in life than I would like to admit. I can call it generational, cultural, or anything else I could blame, but it is my past, and I can’t change that. However, I move forward with a more optimistic view that I have a blank canvas to create my own sexual story. It wasn’t until my first divorce that I realized the reason I didn’t like sex could be because I hadn’t had good sex. It is of no fault of my partners (few that they were), more that I hadn’t allowed myself to enjoy it. I always worried if I was doing…

  • stay the night bed red and black covers folded down for two light from window coming in
    Decisions,  Experiences,  January Jumpstart,  Lifestyle,  Memes and Things,  Open Relationships,  Polyamorous,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New

    Stay the Night

    It had been a while since I shared my bed with someone. Even my Ex-what-ever-he-was never stayed the night with me. I always went to him. Although I had set my house up to his liking just in case, it ever happened. So when my current relationship said he could stay over, I was not only surprised and a little excited, I was also nervous. I haven’t talked much about him because I wasn’t sure where it was going. He is a good guy. Most of them are, but most of them also have issues, baggage, or in my case and history, someone else in their lives. Ugh! It is…

  • open relationship beach and sky two women and one man woman sitting in the sand woman standing man standing
    Open Relationships,  Polyamorous

    Open Relationship

    An open relationship is a tricky term and open for interpretation. In theory, I love the idea. You get to experience different people and you don’t have to let go of something special. In theory. I wasn’t raised this way. I was raised to get married and kids and live happily ever after. I managed marriage twice, and I have one kid. The happily ever after has eluded me thus far. Open relationships and Polyamorous relationships were introduced to me much later in life. When I was coming up as a young woman this was cheating, affairs, and anything else awful and morally wrong. It never would have dawned on…

  • open sign neon multicolored sign hanging from a red bar in a window with lights in the background
    Experiences

    Open or Not?

    Last week, she learned the guy she was talking to has a girlfriend.  They aren’t serious so it is OK.   She was honest with him and requested the same.  Refreshingly, he was honest as well.  She said she wasn’t seeing anyone else and had stopped all the silly dating apps because they were getting along so well.  He also said he wasn’t on any apps.  She said she wasn’t seeing anyone else.  Silence.  After a silence that seemed eternal, he said he was seeing someone else, but they practice safe sex.  Then he asked her, “are you open or not?” She thought before she responded.  She asked.  She couldn’t be…