• surgery scars from hysterectomy white woman stomach visable with hospital bandgaes of red yellow and white visible.
    Aging,  Decisions,  Distress,  February Photofest 2022,  Medical Related,  Memes and Things,  Random thoughts and processing,  Self Love

    I Needed Surgery

    My scars are sexy and remind me to love the body I have. Chrisy Kay I am using February Photofest 2022 as a way to restart my writing. The following outlines a year of health issues and emotional struggle that halted my writing and any sexuality I had. This photo is not exactly the “sexy shot” that one would expect but hang in there with me on this. I needed to start somewhere and I felt this was the best place to begin. I need surgery! When they tell you that you need surgery, it takes a minute to set in. I knew I needed surgery in the back of…

  • Masturbation Monday,  Memes and Things

    Laying Naked

    Zebra Rose There is something peaceful and intimate about laying naked on top of the covers and rediscovering yourself.  Whether you are being introspective or going straight for physical satisfaction, taking those moments to be with yourself is critically important. There was a time when I didn’t understand the importance of laying naked.  I was always bent on covering myself up and hiding, not only from others but from myself.  I didn’t understand that touching did not always mean it had to come from someone else.  To spend time with yourself is to learn your own body and know what you like and what feels good to you.  To release…

  • Experiences,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts


    As the holidays approach it brings back all the feelings of loss.   The loss of my Dad in March and the loss of my relationship in August.  When would I ever feel ok again? Two very different relationships but the pain is shared and intertwined as this hateful year heads toward a close. Every day I miss my Dad and as the holidays come near I struggle for ways to support my Mom through this year of firsts after losing him.  There is no way to distract her from the loneliness and pain.  It just isn’t possible.  Made worse by my own sadness and feeling the loss of him. On…

  • Experiences,  Vanilla

    Unexpected Love Note

    I had another post planned for today.  I have a list of things that I want to write about but the writing didn’t come easy this weekend.  I had planned to write all day yesterday but Saturday brought some emotional baggage that pretty much crippled me.  I was in bed for most of yesterday.  It was something I knew would pass and resolved itself pretty quickly.  I decided I would give myself some time to process the emotions that I was feeling.  No writing, just me and my thoughts.  Then I received an unexpected love note. I have always thought it was important to take time for ourselves.  I am…

  • forcing sexy white woman with black bra and thick chain around her neck with circle link and chains wrapping her breast
    Learning the Hard Way

    Forcing Sexy

    Forcing Sexy is exhausting!  I have always admired those people (men and women of any orientation) that can feel sexy on demand.  I use to think it was easy for some, most actually, but time has taught me that this isn’t so.  Sometimes as a submissive, others say the struggle when their Dom is requesting something sexy.  I never felt that force sexy feeling.  Because I came into my sexuality late in life, I was making up for the lost time. In all fairness to myself, it has been a hellish month.  This weekend marks a month since my Sir decided he no longer wanted me as a sub, or…