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Time Alone
Time alone has always been in a love-hate relationship with me. I way “with me” because I feel like it is an unhealthy relationship sometimes. I feel it is a healthy relationship other times. Knowing the difference has been key in accepting alone time. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy watching TV or reading. I like the downtime when I do not feel like I have to do something. Then again, I always feel like I should be doing something other than sitting. I try to give myself a break and tell myself that I am busy, and if I take some time to settle, that is ok. This kind…
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We Have to Hurt to Know
c/w Depression / Addiction We have to hurt to know; an unfortunate truth. This is a lesson older than time. I was raised to learn from my mistakes. I was usually told of the consequences, and then the choice was mine to make my decisions. As children, we are warned not to touch a hot stove. As adults, we have to know that we shouldn’t do certain things. You know you shouldn’t do it. Even as children, sometimes we know. We can not help ourselves, though, can we? We touch the stove, and of course, Mom was right. It hurts. The decision was ours. Now that we know the consequence…
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Optimistic
An optimistic approach to sex came tome later in life than I would like to admit. I can call it generational, cultural, or anything else I could blame, but it is my past, and I can’t change that. However, I move forward with a more optimistic view that I have a blank canvas to create my own sexual story. It wasn’t until my first divorce that I realized the reason I didn’t like sex could be because I hadn’t had good sex. It is of no fault of my partners (few that they were), more that I hadn’t allowed myself to enjoy it. I always worried if I was doing…
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Gratitude
Gratitude can be a struggle! I know that is a hard thing to wrap our brains around. So many people say it should not be a struggle. Just be grateful for what you have! I agree. To a point. I have gratitude and I am grateful for the things I have in my life. I have fought hard for all of it, not most of it, all of it. I have done it alone and with others but in the end, I know it is me that will have to pull out all the stops. Why? Because I want it more than anyone else does. (In most cases and depending…
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Two Parts Wine, Two Parts Whiskey
Whiskey, wine, and women have been, for the past year, a theme in my existence. Usually, they are experienced separately. This weekend, they were all together in beautiful harmony. I never imagined that my need to get out of my environment to someplace new for the first time since the pandemic hit would lead to one of the best weekends in my memory to date. Four women and a dog head out to a little town in West Virginia to escape our realities. We packed comfy clothes, lots of food, and a lot of wine and whiskey. We were all struggling. It wasn’t just the pandemic but the personal issues…
