• old fashion dagger stained with blood on red silky sheet
    Experiences,  kinks,  Learning the Hard Way,  Masturbation Monday,  Relationship Thoughts Old and New,  Sir/Daddy,  Thoughts,  Toy for Sir,  Trust

    Dagger

    I swore I wasn’t going to write about you anymore.  I closed the door and locked it securely – or so I thought.  But today, today hit me in the heart like a dagger.  A feeling I thought I would never experience again.  Sadly, I was wrong once again.   Apparently, I will never be able to forget the experience of this dagger.  The unseen sharpness that slices through my skin with invisibility, piercing my heart with expert precise movement, never failing to hit its mark. This dagger is elusive, sneaky, stealthy.  The moment I think I have buried it, lost it, destroyed it, it returns to me out of nowhere.…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  BDSM,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    D/s 24/7?

    Do you want to go to 24/7 at some point? I have always thought that I did.  Now I am not so sure. Why or why not? My one and only experience in D/s was long distance and under cover of sorts.  I enjoyed the idea of things, but I am not sure I would classify it as D/s.  I enjoy doing things for people.  I enjoy having tasks and things that I need to do.  It makes me feel productive when I have a list of things to do and I accomplish them.  This is me, and I am not sure if it is solely D/s. Having said that,…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts,  Writings

    When a D/s relationship ends…

    This was today’s thought-provoking email.  I don’t know how to respond to this one.  On Monday, my Sir told me we were through.  I made a mistake.  A big one.  He responded with the heat and temper I had witnessed but it was never directed at me.  Through text, he told me I was manipulative and I had hurt him too much, he was done.  He even said “fuck you, T…” using my real name and not the name he gave me.  He is furious, done with me and has not spoken to me since.  He told me to move on. Devastated doesn’t cover it.  I am mourning not only…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Learning the Hard Way,  Thoughts

    Rules

    Some rules determine behavior in public, others are about private behavior. Some rules may be more common but there’s no right or wrong here.  Do you know what kind of rules you may want or need in your relationship? I think about this a lot.  My D/s relationship is technically long distance so time is far and few between.  We were friends first so we have a very casual and friendly relationship.  Sometimes when I go over to the house I wonder which relationship we are working with.  I never know if he feels like being my Dom at the time and we haven’t established any rules around it.  I…